Signs An Inmate Really Loves You

Being incarcerated is a challenging experience that can affect an individual’s mental and emotional well-being. Inmates may struggle with loneliness and isolation, as they are often separated from their loved ones and support networks.

As a result, they may seek out relationships with others, including romantic connections, to alleviate their sense of isolation and form new bonds.

While some inmates may genuinely seek love and companionship, others may seek someone to exploit or take advantage of. It’s crucial to remain vigilant and mindful of any red flags, such as frequent requests for money or gifts or attempts to manipulate or control you.

To help ease any doubts you may have about your incarcerated partner’s love for you, here are 18 signs to look out for. These indicators can give you a better sense of their affection and commitment to the relationship.

Table of Contents

1. They Make Minimal Demands On You.

When incarcerated, individuals find themselves in a vulnerable and limited position, often relying on support from people on the outside.

However, this dependence can sometimes lead prisoners to manipulate others to get what they want, something they wouldn’t do to someone they genuinely love.

Thus, if your incarcerated partner is not asking for much from you, despite their knowledge that they could benefit from any assistance, it indicates their affection and care for you.

This lack of excessive demands is a positive sign, suggesting that their intentions towards you are sincere and not based on a desire to exploit or use you.

2. You Can See The Spark In Their Eyes When You Visit Them.

During a visit to an incarcerated person, the state of your relationship can be gauged from the expression in their eyes.

If they gaze at you with love, admiration, and appreciation, it’s a sure sign of their genuine affection for you. The intensity of their eye contact can also reflect their emotions toward you.

On the other hand, if they seem distant and barely acknowledge your presence, it may indicate that they have lost interest or moved on from the relationship.

The absence of eye contact can be particularly telling, suggesting a disconnection between you and your imprisoned partner.

As seen in movies and TV shows, the sparkle in an inmate’s eyes when seeing their loved one can be a powerful indicator of their feelings. Watch for this spark during your visits; if their eyes light up every time they see you, it’s a clear sign that their deep affection for you remains.

This genuine happiness and joy can reassure you that their love for you is strong and true, despite the challenges of incarceration.

3. They Are Always Making Post-Release Plans With You.

When your incarcerated partner consistently makes plans with you for the future, it’s a positive indication of their commitment to the relationship. It shows that they trust you enough to make long-term plans and are leading you on when someone better comes along.

They may even discuss building a life together by having children or finding a place to live. This can be exciting and reassuring if you feel the same way.

Love can be a powerful force that inspires optimism, even in difficult circumstances like a prison. By discussing the future and making plans, your partner demonstrates their readiness to change and make things right.

Their focus is on your happiness and creating a bright future for both of you. Making plans in advance and reassuring you of their commitment is a way to show that they’re ready to build a better life together once released.

4. They Have Made Peace With The Fact That You May Not Wait For Them.

Being in a relationship with an incarcerated partner can be incredibly challenging, especially when your life is on hold. If your partner is a long-serving inmate who encourages you to find happiness while locked up, it can signify their love and selflessness.

It’s important to remember that your partner’s incarceration is a result of their own choices and actions, not yours.

They may feel a sense of guilt or responsibility for putting your life on hold, and encouraging you to move forward with your life can be a way for them to alleviate some of that burden. Ultimately, deciding to wait for your partner or move on is up to you.

It’s important to prioritize your happiness and well-being, even if it means making difficult choices.

If you love each other, it’s possible to make the relationship work despite the challenges of incarceration.

However, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with each other about your feelings and expectations.

Remember that navigating relationships with long-serving incarcerated partners can be emotionally taxing, and it’s important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals.

5. They Write Letters To You That Are Profound And Thoughtful.

Given the abundance of free time, inmates may utilize this opportunity to reflect on their feelings for you and convey them through lengthy, affectionate letters.

In addition to expressing their love, exchanging letters can help maintain the excitement and passion in your relationship, especially when physical togetherness is impossible.

If your inmate partner writes you emotional letters, you can rest assured that they have invested significant thought and effort into expressing their love.

They may be eager for you to read their letter and reciprocate their emotions, as exchanging love letters is a powerful way to strengthen a relationship.

6. They Communicate To You Their Readiness To Make A Change.

This is a challenging and sincere display of love from an inmate. Everyone makes mistakes in life, and it’s unfair to judge them for it, including your incarcerated loved one.

With ample time for reflection, they have an opportunity to reflect on their past actions and may want to take responsibility for them.

Suppose your partner has been incarcerated for a significant amount of time, and they express their willingness to change for the first time. In that case, it indicates that they genuinely love you.

It demonstrates that they recognize the need to improve their behavior to avoid returning to prison, particularly if they plan to spend the rest of their life with you.

7. Their Friends Tell You That They Are Crazy About You.

When you can’t be with your incarcerated partner frequently, it’s comforting to know that their friends speak highly of you and that you are always on their minds.

It shows that they genuinely care about your relationship and are interested in your life. While it may not always be feasible, having mutual friends can be a helpful way to evaluate the depth of their affection towards you.

8. They Are Utilizing Their Time Effectively While In Prison.

Incarceration facilities usually provide a wide range of educational resources and activities for inmates to enhance their knowledge and skills before their eventual release.

If your partner is utilizing these resources and actively working on self-improvement, it shows they are committed to building a brighter future with you in the long run.

Rather than wasting time waiting for their release, they are determined to better themselves and become your more valuable partner.

9. They Have A Sincere Desire To Know More About You And Your Life.

There is a significant distinction between hearing someone speak and actively listening to them. When it comes to an inmate who cares about you, they will be truly interested in getting to know you and paying attention to every word you say.

They will inquire about your everyday life, family, and friends, as well as your hobbies and interests. Speaking with them will give you a feeling of happiness and reassurance that they value you.

In short, if an inmate truly loves you, they will display a sincere curiosity in your life beyond prison, including your daily routine, ambitions, and emotions.

10. They Can Recall The Most Lovely Things You Have Shared With Them.

If an inmate remembers all the little details you tell them, it strongly indicates that they are genuinely interested in you.

This demonstrates that they are paying close attention to what you say and want to get to know you better. In addition, it shows that they have an impressive memory.

11. They Place Great Importance On The Care Packages You Send Them.

Sending care packages to an inmate is a meaningful way to connect them to the outside world and their life before prison. Please pay attention to their reaction when you bring them their favorite things, which can indicate how much they appreciate it.

If they express gratitude for your care packages and acknowledge how much they brighten up their day, it clearly shows that they value your efforts and care about you.

It’s also worth noting that receiving gifts is one of the five love languages, so if this is your partner’s primary love language, sending them care packages can be a powerful way to express your love.

12. You Frequently Engage In Conversations About Significant Matters In Life.

The content of your conversations is crucial. Are you solely discussing daily activities, or do your discussions delve deeper? Having meaningful conversations involves discussing important matters in life.

If your inmate partner only engages in trivial chats, it indicates a lack of interest in establishing a profound connection with you.

Enriching conversations are the foundation of any relationship, particularly a long-distance one like yours. They leave you satisfied for hours or even days until the next chat. If you and your partner engage in these types of discussions, it clearly indicates their love for you.

13. They Don’t Just Contact You When They Require Something From You.

Observing their calling behavior is a simple yet effective way to determine if an inmate truly loves you.

It’s commonly understood that if someone only calls when they need something, their intentions may not be genuine, as this has happened to many people in various relationships.

Therefore, if your love interest doesn’t solely call you to ask for favors or bring them things, you can be certain that they genuinely care for you. They see you as more than just a messenger between them and the outside world.

They see you as their partner and want to know about your well-being, activities, and emotions.

In short, they’re invested in your life rather than just interested in learning about the events happening outside of prison.

This behavior indicates that their love for you is unquestionable. Inmates who genuinely love their partners will try to stay connected through letters, phone calls, or electronic communication.

14. They Do Not Engage In Correspondence With Other Individuals Of The Opposite Sex.

Websites like Write A Prisoner allow people to become pen pals with inmates through email or physical letters. However, some inmates may use these sites for purposes other than just finding pen pals, such as seeking educational opportunities or mentors.

It could be a red flag if your inmate partner has an online profile on these sites and is only interested in being pen pals with other men or women. It’s similar to having a dating profile in the real world, which can lead to potential visits.

On the other hand, if they are not interested in these websites, it shows that they are solely focused on you and are not looking to meet other people. This is a clear sign that they love you.

15. Being Truthful With You Is Important.

Honesty is crucial in every healthy relationship, especially regarding relationships involving inmates.

If an inmate genuinely loves you, they will be truthful with you about their past, present circumstances, and emotions.

16. They Respect Your Limits

Although inmates have little control over their lives in prison, they should still respect your boundaries outside prison. This entails being mindful of your schedule, privacy, and personal boundaries.

17. They Exhibit Their Love In Healthy Ways.

Inmates who genuinely love you will express their emotions in healthy ways, such as through words of encouragement or deeds of kindness. They will not coerce you into anything that makes you uneasy or uses manipulative tactics.

18. You Have A Strong Intuition That They Are Good And Trustworthy.

Occasionally, there’s an innate feeling that someone cares for you deeply, isn’t there? Love is an emotion, and it’s a potent one at that. You just know through your various interactions with someone, whether they’re an inmate or someone you’re closer to.

These signs are intended to give you some help and reassurance when needed. If an inmate checks off many of the boxes above and gives you that lovely feeling, it’s extra confirmation that what you’re sensing is love – and isn’t it a wonderful thing!

Nurturing And Sustaining A Relationship With An Inmate Who Truly Loves You

Making your relationship with an inmate endure requires patience, dedication, and ingenuity. Maintaining this relationship is akin to maintaining any other relationship, except for the circumstances. Below are key aspects you should focus on to ensure its longevity.

Try to correspond through letters as often as possible.

Remember that each letter you send to your inmate partner will hold sentimental value to them. Feeling low, they will read your letters again and feel uplifted. Moreover, consistent letter writing is crucial in maintaining a strong bond.

Writing down your emotions and wishes in a letter is an excellent way to communicate; hence strive to exchange as many letters as possible. This will enhance your relationship and brighten up your partner’s days.

Visit them frequently.

I am certain that you are already making the most of the opportunity to visit your loved one within the limits of the prison visitation policy.

However, it is important to note that more than maintaining a relationship solely through letters may be needed to keep the flame burning. When visiting is not possible, a phone call can suffice.

Additionally, there is a type of visit called a conjugal visit that can greatly benefit couples. During a conjugal visit, the inmate can spend a few hours or days privately with their visitor. You will understand the implications of this type of visit. It doesn’t hurt to keep this option in mind.

Ensure That Your Conversations With Them Are Meaningful.

Ensuring that every conversation holds meaning as it forms the foundation of your relationship is crucial when dating someone incarcerated.

While your partner may not disclose every negative experience they have encountered in prison, it is vital to encourage them to confide in you whenever they feel comfortable doing so.

Additionally, it is important to discuss your plans for the future as if the distance from prison is not a factor and to maintain a positive outlook. Do not allow the limitations imposed by the prison to interfere with your dreams and aspirations. Remember that time is a precious commodity, so make every conversation with your partner worthwhile for both of you.

Use Your Imagination To Demonstrate Your Love And Fondness In Unique Ways.

It’s crucial to think outside the box when it comes to romantic gestures, even if your partner is incarcerated. Rather than simply uttering “I love you” repeatedly, explore diverse and imaginative methods to display your love and affection.

Penning a love story, crooning a beloved ballad, or baking a heart-shaped cookie are all possibilities.

Expressing your love can take many forms, and this applies to your imprisoned partner as well, who can demonstrate their fondness through letter writing or comparable means.

Stimulate Their Creativity And Curiosity.

Just because your partner is incarcerated does not mean you should abandon seduction. Your sexual attraction for each other can still be intense, and the key is to spark your imagination.

Consider the following suggestions:

  1. Dress provocatively when visiting during conjugal visits.
  2. Use a seductive tone when speaking over the phone.
  3. Add some excitement to your letters.
  4. Whisper suggestive phrases into their ear (if possible).
  5. Express how much you’re thinking about them.

The more you crave each other, the stronger your bond will be. This holds regardless of the circumstances surrounding your relationship. As long as you’re attracted to each other, you will find ways to express that attraction.

Do Not Allow Anyone To Disrupt Or Meddle In Your Romantic Relationship.

Through my experience, I’ve discovered that a strong and healthy relationship is one where a couple can make their own decisions without allowing others to meddle.

These outsiders may include family members and neighbors who tend to gossip and offer unsolicited advice, causing unnecessary interference.

If these individuals criticize your partner’s past imprisonment or disapprove of your relationship, it’s important not to blindly follow their opinions (unless you genuinely agree with them). Ultimately, your feelings and well-being matter more than the opinions of others. To safeguard yourself, establish boundaries from the start to prevent others from meddling in your love life.

I abide by the principle that my love life is strictly personal and not open to public scrutiny. While I appreciate any advice given, I will ultimately make my own choices based on what I believe is right rather than blindly following the opinions of others. Maintaining an intimate relationship is the ideal course of action, without a doubt.

Learn The Art Of Patience.

Cultivating patience is essential when having a relationship with an inmate. Being in a relationship with someone incarcerated can be incredibly challenging, as numerous obstacles and limitations can make it difficult to maintain a healthy connection.

It requires a tremendous amount of patience, resilience, and understanding to navigate the challenges of this type of relationship.

One of the key aspects of cultivating patience in this situation is to have realistic expectations. Communication may be limited, and the time you spend together may be restricted.

Remembering that the relationship will require significant effort and dedication on both sides is important. Being patient means accepting that things may not always go as planned but remaining committed to the relationship despite the obstacles.

Through communication, trust, and understanding, cultivating patience can help strengthen your bond with your incarcerated partner and help you navigate the challenges of a long-distance relationship.

Cultivating patience is crucial when having a relationship with an inmate. It can be a difficult and emotionally challenging experience, but it can also be incredibly rewarding.

Having realistic expectations, communicating openly, and remaining committed to the relationship can build a strong connection with your partner and support them through their time in prison.

Patience and perseverance make maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship possible, even in challenging circumstances.


Being in a relationship with an inmate can be a challenging experience, but it is possible to build a meaningful connection with your incarcerated partner.

While there may be limitations and obstacles, signs that an inmate truly loves you can help you determine if the relationship is worth pursuing. These signs include consistent communication, honesty, trust, support, and respect.

It is important to remember that every relationship is unique and that there is no set formula for determining whether an inmate truly loves you. However, by paying attention to these signs, you can gain insight into the inmate’s feelings and determine whether the relationship is based on genuine affection and care.

Above all, it is important to approach any relationship with an inmate with caution and to prioritize your emotional well-being. With patience, communication, and an open heart, building a strong and fulfilling connection with your incarcerated partner, even in challenging circumstances, is possible.


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